I Am Content

My heart beats for you.
With every contraction of my heart muscle
Your name flows through my blood vessels
Cut me now and I bleed you

Etched on the deepest recesses of my mind,
Your name escapes my lips, subconsciously, I can’t help but let it slip
I meditate on your memory and flatter myself with potent vanity
That your smile was meant for me
I just may be going crazy but my memory is far from hazy.
The moments we shared together, so pure and simple, forever I shall remember.   

I am content.
That this is what was and will never be
Like a flash of lightning, we had a spark that flashed bright
But then it disappeared only to leave night
The hand that touched mine, platonic in intent,
Made my heart skip a beat and my breath rush in gasps through the vent of my lungs.
Yet it was not mine to hold
And you are not mine to love
I guess then, we were not meant to be

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The tragedy of a lonely heart

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I lie awake dissecting all the moments we had…over and over again with painstaking detail. And for a moment the pain goes and in its place, the love that I so foolishly thought we shared consumes me.

And then I remember. You love her. Not me. Even though I’ve been here from the start. I’ve always been here. Did you not see me standing here all this time?